The real markers of self-respect are quieter and stranger than the confident image we are taught to admire: being kind to yourself when you fail, the security to admit you were wrong without a fight, and freedom from needing constant approval

Lists of the signs of self-respect usually offer the obvious markers: good posture, saying no, dressing well. The more revealing habits are quieter and often counterintuitive, and they hinge on a distinction most people miss. Self-respect is not the same as h…