Real behaviors do signal that someone dislikes you, usually a sustained absence of warmth rather than one cold moment, but the more useful finding is that we are wired to see dislike where there is none and miss the liking right in front of us

Most of us run a quiet background program that scans other people for signs they do not like us. A reply that came back a little short. A smile that did not quite reach. A person who seemed warmer with everyone else in the room. The research on this has two h…